Misbah case: the mother should let her go

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Yvonne Roberts argues that the best thing for Misbah Rana's mother to do if she actually cares for her daughter is to let her go:

Whatever the reasons for Misbah wishing to stay - and, contrary to some prejudices, an affluent life in relatively liberal Lahore may have more plusses than living with an allegedly prickly step-father in Stornaway - Misbah's mother, Louise Campbell, has the law on her side.

What she doesn't have - is the right to ignore her daughter's wishes and impose a "solution" that, in the long term, may make her relationship with Misbah all the more fraught. Far more sensible to let the situation remain as it is for now - given time, Misbah may or may not decide that Scotland is preferable to Pakistan.

Misbah is not her mother's possession. Her wellbeing is not at issue. She appears well cared for in Pakistan and, in Lahore, she will also have educational choices as open and arguably as good (if not better) than that available to her in Scotland. (And yes I have been to Lahore, and, years ago, did go to school in Pakistan). However difficult, what her mother might be wise to do for now - is to let go.

On the subject of education, the school Misbah attended in Stornoway has been the subject of two separate bullying controversies, one which led to a suicide in 1996 and another which led to a student having to leave Lewis due to racist bullying. This is the institution Misbah is likely to be sent back to if she is returned, against her will, to Scotland.

Significantly, Mrs Campbell does not even bother to call Misbah by her real name! I heard the stupid woman interviewed last night and she still persists in calling her daughter "Molly". She clearly has no respect for her daughter and is behaving like a vengeful, spoiled brat and exploiting public sentiment in the UK. The fact is that if the Pakistani authorities had any backbone, the idea of sending Misbah back to a remote part of the UK to live with an apostate mother and her non-Muslim husband would not be entertained even for a moment.

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12 Comments

I'm in sympathy with much of what you write. The girl's wishes, at the age of 12, should be crucial and one can well understand why she would wish to be with her siblings.
The life she appears to have in Lahore looks pleasant and perhaps objectivley preferable to rain-lashed Lewis in November.
I think perhaps you misread UK public opinion, however.
There may have been an initial assumption on the part of general public opinion that her life in Pakistan would be hard and poor (How many images have we seen of the hardship endured by Kasmiri earthquake victims?).
The footage we've seen shows a pleasant life in a nice part of Lahore.
Few here would have a general sympathy for the girl's mother and most would I'm sure put the child's views above hers. She doesn't present very well and appears to utterly discount her childrens' wishes.
Rather than name-calling though, one might spare a thought for someone who appears to have lost the support and physical presence of her whole flock.
Additionally, I think you should think about what prejudices lie beneath your closing statement. If you were to invert the terms used to "her Muslim mother and stepfather", it would read rather unpleasantly. the point surely is that religion, per se, is irrelevant to the situation and that no religious culture can claim a monopoly on virtue.
I was surprised by the Pakistani court's decision as Pakistan notoriously has no extradition treaty with the UK and anyone fleeing the UK justice system ahd traditionally been safe there.
There would seem to be little worry for the future, though - if Misbah returns to the UK, one can't see a court ignoring her wishes for long and she will surely be returned to Pakistan

Simon T: I am sorry if my words sound prejudiced to you. The fact is that in Islamic law the non-Muslim parent of a Muslim child does not get custody, end of story, because bringing the children up in Islam is considered paramount. If the Muslim parent is unsuitable for some reason, the child goes to the nearest suitable Muslim relative. I would not approve of a child having any alien religion forced down their throat, as in a case where an irreligious Muslim man married a non-Muslim woman, made no attempt to bring the children up as Muslims, and then "got religion" later on, at the time of or after his marriage breaking up. You cannot start an Islamic upbringing at the age of 10 with a child who is not used to Islam, or to any religion.

There are so many reasons why Misbah should not be sent away from her family in Pakistan, although there now is an extradition arrangement (as a Pakistani was recently sentenced for a murder he committed, after being repatriated from Pakistan) and there is a judicial agreement between the UK and Pakistan regarding child abductions also. However, the agreement clearly was not made with cases like this in mind, which are in Islamic law cut and dried, and agreements to do something clearly unlawful, like send a young girl to an isolated place against her will to the "care" of someone who has already tried to interfere with her religion, are not valid in Islam.

The fact is that in Islamic law the non-Muslim parent of a Muslim child does not get custody, end of story, because bringing the children up in Islam is considered paramount

You call that a systeme of law?

Awarding child-custody on the basis of mere "faith" is the jurisprudence of the alpha-male baboon. Any systeme of TRUE justice needs to be grounded in basic reson and logic.

The fact is that if the Pakistani authorities had any backbone, the idea of sending Misbah back to a remote part of the UK to live with an apostate mother and her non-Muslim husband would not be entertained even for a moment.

The mother is not apostate, she is a Christian. Why should she want her daughter raised by a non-Christain?

The father, too, is a Christian, why would he want his step-daughter raised by a non-Christian?

Let's show some sensitivity here, Yosuf; both Molly's mother and step-father consider Molly's blood-father a non-believing heretic.

As for the Backbone and Pakistan and all; would you consider the recent changes to the country's rape laws a sign of "backbone" or a sign of spineless capitulation?

If it's the latter, then I can certainly understand why you're so attracted to Mohammedanism.

Thank goodness the Lahore court made the right decision. Otherwise it opens the door to endless kidnappings by Muslim men so certain of their "rights".

By your standards Palubinski, "Molly" (real name Misbah, presumably agreed at the time of her birth or shortly after) is also a "non-believing heretic" and is apparently set on remaining one; she knew that this was the likely outcome when she married Misbah's father. Why would they want her in their house when she obviously does not want to be there? And a step-father is not a real father. Her real father is the one she lives with, and right now wants to stay living with.

As for Pakistan's rape laws, they are a concoction of the Zia-ul-Haq military government. They are man-made law, and if they routinely result in innocent women being stoned or jailed (which I'm not convinced they do), they ought to be changed.

They are man-made law, and if they routinely result in innocent women being stoned or jailed (which I'm not convinced they do), they ought to be changed.

You've got it backwards.

Pakistan's rape "laws" were drawn up in order that they be more in conformity with "divine" will.

God, you see, is a drooling simpleton.

The man-made parts are the recent ammendments, Yosuf.

And as for Molly; yes, she's exercising her free choice.

Birds never sing; the sky is green.

Sickening to see the usual suspects play games with the life of a girl who wants to stay with her father and siblings. Palubiski and pRickler, go jump in a well.

You are obviously too much of an idiot to grasp the difference between Divine law and man-made law supposedly based on it. But Pakistan's laws, nevertheless, are the latter. As they appear to result in innocent women being found guilty of adultery, they are being amended.

As for Misbah, she ran away when her sister Tahmina met her at the school gates. She had a choice, chose to go with her, and the press screamed about her being threatened with a forced marriage which was never going to happen, because her father belongs to the westernised (if religious) Lahore middle class.

Got that, moron?

assalamu alikeum

is it me, or is that the first time that you've swore in your blog Yusuf?

Lol. Sorry, irrelvant to the topic but i found that midly funny because i thought that was DrM's post before scrolling down to see your name lol.

Anyways Misbah should stay with her father! Thats where she wants to be. this whole case has been blown out of proprtion simply because the father happens to be brown, alpha muslim male. No one in the press or the non muslims here would batter an eyelid if Misbah's dad was white, non muslim and she ran off to live with him in Timbukto.

As-Salaamu 'alaikum,

I haven't sworn anywhere on this post. Idiot, moron and brat are not swear words and never have been. (I was thinking of calling Palubinski a retard or cretin, but people would find those words offensive.)

wa alikeum assalam

Ok, maybe its just me who thinks moron is a swear word lol (well i wouldnt say brat was though)

Anyways, i rep you for actually taking the time out to challenge these bigotied trolls day in, day out on your blog. Im not as paitient and would have booted these punks out a long time ago, simply because they're a waste of time and 9/10 of them are only here to shoot their rabid mouths off.

I find this whole Misbah/Molly thing ridiculous. The girl was happy in Harris. She had many friends and was with her Mum. One married brother lives in the UK. Elder sister is married. Father has new wife and two more babies with her. The girl is being immature after all she is only 12. Her Father chose to live,work,marry in this country and now he is against the place. He insults the Mother of four of his children at every opportunity and everyone can tell how he would have behaved towards her in the marriage. I heard that she suffered from depression (had he anything to do with that?). She was encouraged to go to counselling and art classes outside the home. From being trapped with such an arrogant, self-absorbed man from the age of 16 this must have been life-changing. She is not a bad person. A loving Mother who knew that the controlling Father would try taking her daughter to Pakistan. She was given custody under British law. Fact. It should be decided in Britain. When Molly Misbah is a Mother will live to regret how she has treated her Mum.Mollyisbah is now slagging all things British and either she lied to friends here or she is lying now. At least with friends her own age she was not being influenced in what she said. Obviously her sister is trying to score massive points with Daddy by leaving her new husband to be constantly at Molly Misbahs side. Where is her husband and job? Where is the new obedient wife of Molly Misbahs Dad or the two babies? Let Molly come back to her Mum and friends and live here for 5 months. Let her then say she wants to go back to Pakistan to live forever and I just might believe her. If the family continue badmouthing all things British they all should have their passports removed enough is enough. If they hate Britain so much then stay away. Lessons should be learned from this situation. If anyone disagrees then explain yourself. I want to understand. Do people come from foreign countries to just make money or do they want to integrate and join british society fully. I wish everyone could get along. Faith should be kept to inside the home. This goes for every faith. Empathy for others is a great attribute to have. I respect everyone who obeys the law of the country and who respects others. Mr Rana does not respect British people, British society, British law or the Mother of 4 of his kids. He should take a long hard look at himself. His daughter was healthy, fed, clothed, warm, happy, had many friends, a good education and her loving Mum. She should have been left till she was 16. If this court in Pakistan says she stays in Pakistan then she should be told she does not get back into Britain ever. She is chopping and changing her mind depeding on who offers the most material things to her. I have freinds of all faiths and we accept each other. We have meals together and socialise. I respect everyone equally. This is the best way to be.

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