Dump him!

Picture of Pamela Stephenson Connolly, an older white woman wearing a dress with bright patterns in purple, green, red, orange and other colours with a gold-colour handbag over her right shoulder and holding a bottle-green scarf in her left hand. Behind her the wall has logos that read "Kiyomi" and "Jupiters hotel & casino, Gold Coast".
Pamela Stephenson Connolly

This is about a letter to Pamela Stephenson Connolly, the Guardian’s agony aunt for all things sexual. The letter is from a 27-year-old woman who had developed an eating disorder as a result of a previous boyfriend’s porn use; she used her current boyfriend’s phone and found a pornographic video open as well as searches for material about very young or skinny women. Rather than telling the woman to reconsider her position, she tells her to confront her boyfriend about it in a “non-combative” manner and apologise for “snooping”.

It’s not the first time the Guardian has failed to tell someone who wrote in with a story of what was obviously abuse that this is what was going on: recall Annalisa Barbieri and the young lady whose mother called her fat and ugly and constantly compared her to models on the TV. The paper really needs to educate some of its columnists about this issue. In this case, the columnist could have told the author of the letter that maybe she ought to think of whether she really wanted to be in a relationship with this man who is unfaithful, obviously not satisfied with her and unlikely to change regardless of whether the relationship progresses. The letter does not say how long this relationship has lasted so far but it is better to get out of it early than allow it to awaken a dormant mental illness.

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